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[Written to the tune of "You Gotta Be A Hustler If You Wanna Get On" by Sue Wilkinson, on CheapSkate Records Ltd; circa 1979].

There’s a saying in politics that goes, “There are no permanent friends, no permanent enemies, only permanent interests”…

Yes, as more and more revelations come to light about MPs’ bogus business expenses, corporate execs’ fat-cat bonuses and other outlandish financial shenanigans from those you know and love, it’s quite clear that those to whom is given a window of opportunity – or a brick! – will rapidly devolve into fat-cat burglars – or show their true colours – and take whatever isn’t nailed down… or claim it on their expense accounts. And it doesn’t stop there.

I saw a man in Sainsbury’s once who was told by the cashier that he couldn’t take his shopping home (nearly £30.00 worth) just because he was 1p short! I kid you not. ONE PENCE!! Yet over time I’ve seen countless people queuing at the Customer Services desk querying their receipts because they’ve either been over-charged, charged twice for items, or something along those lines.

There’s another trend that has appeared that’s becoming more mainstream, that seems to be getting popular in those KFC-esque fast-food places and it’s rapidly spreading. And that is, the advertising of a set meal for one price, i.e., £2.99 and the actual charging of another; £3.00. It’s another one of those scams that I’m not falling for, and I make sure I always get my change! Even though they’ve tried to fob me off with all sorts of excuses. On one occasion I had to make it clear I would not leave the shop until I was given my change, after he tried to BS me by saying that he didn’t have any small-change in the till!

I’m not being difficult, just standing up for my rights as a consumer!

OK, so I may come across as a small-minded penny pincher, I’m not; I’m just not up for being taken for a mug. Yes, I know it’s only 1p, but it adds up. If, say, 500 customers over the course of a few days fall for that same scam, then that’s an extra £5.00 in their till. Over the course of a few weeks, months and even a year, it adds up. That’s a lot of dough! Especially when you consider that most of these are chain store franchises that are nation-wide if not regional.

There are lots of other areas that people are being short-changed too; taxes, bank charges, mobile phone and utility bills – and don’t get me started on British Gas! The sad thing is, 1) it’s always the big boys that seem to be doing it, 2) they will more often than not get away with it – and let’s face it, people usually do whatever it is they can get away with. But what’s even sadder is 3) most people feel powerless to do anything, won’t find the time to do anything or just can’t be bothered to do anything. And that, people, is the real crime!