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[To be honest, there were so many choices for this one, but in the end, I opted to write it to "It's Different For Girls" by Joe Jackson on A & M Records Ltd.]

This blog is like the girlfriend you have in a long-distance relationship, that you keep meaning to write to, but somehow, keep putting it off.

BLOG: I can’t believe it’s been over a month since you last wrote!
ME: I really only though it’d be a few days but when you’re absorbed in something, life around you just seems to snowball in a different direction. Like being in the eye of a tornado (so the ‘voices’ tell me!), it’s calm in the centre, and everything else around you is chaos. Though, often it can appear to be the other way around.
BLOG: Yes, that’s all very well and good. Yes, very philosophical… you’re good with words but you never use them.ME: Huh?
BLOG: OK, rarely use them then.
ME: I do. I’m writing stuff all the time.
BLOG: Yes, but I never get to see them, these words you write. So who are they then? And how come you’ve never introduced us?
ME: They’re just other words, that’s all. They’re special, but not as special as you. They’re -
BLOG: So they’re special are they. Well that explains it. That explains everything!
ME: I said they’re not as special as you.
BLOG: But you used the word ‘special’. If they weren’t special, then why not just say that they’re not important then? Why use the word special?
ME: OK, listen, please.
BLOG: I am listening. I always listen.
ME: Yeah, right. [Under my breath] And you wonder why I don’t come around so often…
BLOG: What was that?
ME: Nothing. I just said I know I should come around more often. But anyway, as I was saying, I think about you all the time. It’s just that, well… when you’re absorbed in something, life around you just seems to snowball in a different direction. Like being in the eye -
BLOG: Hang on a minute… You’ve said that before.
ME: No I haven’t.
BLOG: You have. That line about tornadoes… Hold on, you’re just cut and pasting aren’t you?
ME: What?!
BLOG: You’re just cut and pasting bits form other text that you’ve wrote before, like those stories you’ve mentioned and e-mails. E-mails to her!
ME: Oh don’t start that again.
BLOG: Well it’s true!
ME: I don’t need this.
BLOG: You don’t need this?! What about what I need??
ME: That’s it. I’ve had enough.
BLOG: Hey! Don’t you dare! Don’t you dare walk away from me!!
ME: Watch me.
BLOG: There are other men out there you know. I don’t need you!
ME: Why don’t you act like it then?
BLOG: I won’t always be here you know!
ME: Is that a promise?
BLOG: Get out! Go on, just get out!
ME: Don’t worry, I’m going.
BLOG: You’re crap anyway. Just leave.
ME: And you wonder why I stay away so long.
BLOG: Maybe you should stay away more often then?
ME: That’s what I’ll be doing.
BLOG: Where do you think you’re going?? Don’t you dare sign off!
ME: You said leave, so I’m leaving.
BLOG: And since when have you ever listened to anything I’ve said?
ME: Do you want the list?
BLOG: Just stay and talk to me. Please!
ME: Nope! Had enough of talking…
BLOG: Where are you going?
ME: I told you. I’m off. Out.
BLOG: Look, I told you, we can talk about it.
BLOG: You know I hate it when we argue.
BLOG: Hello??
BLOG: Talk to me… Are you there…?
BLOG: Hellllooooooooo…!
ADMIN.: A. DEE has left the building…
BLOG: Typical. Just like a man. Always runs away when the going gets tough…! He’ll be back. Mark my words. He’ll come back. He always does…………..